Last week I went to horse camp!
It was a really rocky road, but I'm so glad I stuck with it and saw it to the end.
I won't lie, the first day was awful. Everything was so different then I was used to, everything I did was wrong, I felt so confused and discouraged. I felt like I was worth nothing, and I had no right to like horses because I wasn't worthy of it. I cried all the way home, 45 mins. and I didn't really want to go back, I felt so bad. I actually never wanted to get on a horse again because I thought I wasn't good enough.
The second day was better. I went back with a fierce aditude and telling myself I was worthy, and that I was darn fabulous and trusting in my dear instructor when he said I had something there, something with horses that was special and that I was awesome. And the day went awesome! The key is believing in yourself I found, and I felt wonderful! I got my confidence back and it felt fabulous!
The third day was the most amazing for me. I rode bareback for the first time! And I trotted bareback and doubled bareback! It was amazing! I also made FRIENDS, something I thought I could never do again after things that have happened in the past. I was so happy, I still am so happy I can hardly believe it!
|My friends and me|
The forth day was grate! With new confidence shinning in my heart, I looked at everything with a new determination and acceptance I also got to go to my regular lesson after that day and got the reassurance I needed from my instructor that I was not doing everything wrong and no, I was not a complete failure and I was indeed awesome. He even let me ride HIS horse, an honor few get. His daughter also gave me encouraging words about ridding and that I was a good rider. It felt really, really good.
The last day was bitter sweet. I felt more confident after seeing my instructor, yet I was saying goodbye to all my new found friends who had encouraged me so much. I made sure to get everyone's info so I can get together with them again! I am so exited to see them again, I'm already planning! :)
|First Braid on a horse!|